So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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