shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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