no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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