Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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