clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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