my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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