3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
be right there i have to get my cape
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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