so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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