Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize