ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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