i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
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