She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize