i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize