I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
