ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
