yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize