the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize