We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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