So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.