if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.