so explain again why im purple
no
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
