do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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