Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dicks are not precious.
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