I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
