Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
