with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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