You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
