trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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