I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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