I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize