Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
