the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
