nut hugger
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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