Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You are a genius and a whore.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
