Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
