remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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