I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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