fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
