It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Panties = found
Randomize
