Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
