is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
