I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
