I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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