i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
