Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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