Are we in a gay sports bar?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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