I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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