Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
