So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
