i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
