trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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