We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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