Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
