eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i love accidental penises.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
