thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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